Journey of embodied awareness and expanded connectivity.

Mental, Physical and Emotional is Spiritual Healing

When Dualilty stops, pain stops. Relationship Healing is ART of bringing your inner and outer worlds together. 

 

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Sexual Abuse is common in my experience both in men and women. 

It is more common than people realise. I have found that almost as many men and women have been affected. Some sexual abuse victims excel in business as a way to avoid intimate relationships. On personal relationship level they stress at the deepest level. Or they fall into relationships where they either become compliant or they hold the lead completely. Personal relationships suffering is experienced in all victims. They have lost faith in human nature yet need that interaction. This interaction gives them some meaning to life.

Human interaction is essential. The quality of human interaction is what ultimately what nourishes us.

To be able to accept nurturing personal relationships; we need to feel whole ourselves.

All thoughts are energy. This sexual abuse energy continues to play in the background til it connects with pulse of life.

Depression and exhaustion becomes daily experience. People end up seeking over stimulation and most of all they just want a pill that stops the feelings of loneliness and separation. In your sessions together we access your cellular imprint firmly embedded as result of your sexual abuse that continues to run your life.

      
   
Sexual abuse creates distance in every other relationship. It attracts partners who are distant and unavailable. This begins the cycle of trying again and again only to be left disappointed. Other levels of abuse or neglect in formative years continue to run your life until you do powerful work on yourself.  

Here we connect to your cell memory - not mental memory. 

These therapies that I do are aimed at bringing all of your energies together.
Sexual abuse memory acts like a trojen virus that overtakes and manipulates your entire system.
 This trojen needs to accessed in a very specific way or it will manipulate your therapy.
Your healing works through connecting to different frequencies. These frequencies change your reality. 
   

This video from one of my clients on gentle letting go and awakening of sleeping energy.

This cannot be replicated by people who are not able to connect on that frequency. For this reason you don't see this as a solution in the mainstream.  
   
You need to be absolutely complete within yourself to fully appreciate your life. Most people continue to struggle in miserable relationships fighting for rights and needs within narrow parameters. Life is bigger than your problems. But often we do not see or feel better options when we are stuck.  
In sexual abuse therapy we help you get unstuck from that energy. When you feel whole - your options become clearer. When sexual abuse dominates your life (in the background even though you think you are not) you make decisions that continue to hurt. Lets get you together by introducing you to knowing tantra 1 concepts.  
Finding Care and Support.

Many adult survivors of childhood abuse find it difficult to get support from their loved ones. People find it impossible to step into the abused persons shoes and truly feel what they are feeling. In my experience, the family just want to get them to move on. This further isolates the persona who is trapped in the sexual abuse story. The sexual abuse in itself is more about power over the child. Sexual abuse is a one way street. It often involves someone in authority. The sexual abuse is often by a parent, a close relative, a babysitter, a school teacher or even a spiritual teacher.

My personal experience in my relationship with a man who was sexually abused by a police man at 12 years of age.sexual abuse that is trapped in the mind needs deep healing

Neither of us knew this at the time. He buried the event so deep that it was not in his conscious mind. At times he would turnto alcohol when we had issues in our relationship. Only when he sought therapy did he discover his deeply buried trauma that was playing out in his adult life. We did not last. It is a shame, he was a caring giving man. But the trauma often turned him into escapist. This affected every aspect of our relatioship. All couples have issues that come up from time to time.

In a healthy relationship, these are dealt with. Solutions are found and the couple moves on. In a relationship that is not growing there could be something sinister in the background.

His trust was violated.

Our relationship did not last. Whenever we needed to talk, he would regress. He would try to deal with it on his own. Because this is what he did as a child. Still not knowing that he had buried the sexual abuses so deep that he did not have to go back there. This is what he did with any issue. Many years later after we separated, he sought me out and shared with me that finally he found out why we did not work out. He said 'while you were trying to build our relationship, I was breaking it.' then he went on to tell me 'I was sexually abused at 12 years of age, I buried it so deep that even I could not remember it. All I knew is that the world in not a safe place'.

The point of this story is that if you cannot deal with what seems a simple issue, there is probably a very good reason for that.
That reason is buried in your subconscious.

The thing is you do not need to relive the trauma. Often victims do not seek support is because they do not want to relive the trauma.

As a sexual abuse victim what you really need is a way of living that is safe and nurturing. With people around you that you can trust to be there for you whenever you have something important to do or to share. Bring trust and life into sharing a life you deserve. Not just continue as a survivor.

These are people in power. People that a child relies upon for their very existence.

Therefore is not just about the sexual act itself, it is about survival. Sexual abuse is about trust abuse. The abuser ensures the victim feels guilty and responsible for the act itself. Confusion about what happened and how this permitted to happen when people and god are supposed to take care of you. Shame and disbelief that the world can allow that to happen.

Working with sexual abuse victims.

In working with sexual abuse victims, I found they often just hover around their loved ones. They act as if they are in the room, but in actual fact they are not even present in their own body. Many end up in the tantric sex industry, or in any other industry that exploits sex. Others become great artists, perfumers. These profession create a buffer between themselves and the people around them. Some become powerful business people. It is the intimate and personal relationships that remain distant. One woman I worked with who was sexually abused by her many uncles live her entire life hating food. She did not enjoy it at all. The disconnect was so great. She recalls at age 10 telling her mother. Her mother made her promise she would not tell anyone because that would bring shame on the family. From that time on it was never talked about again. At it turns out, her mother was also sexually abused. She dealt with her daughter's sexual abuse situation like she dealt with her own. The only way for her mother to deal with it is to live pretending it did not happen. Now the entire life is lived as a lie.

Another client came to me who's wife was sexually abused by her father. They only had sex once in 20 years. He was seeking solutions to their intimate relationship issue. As it turns out, they as a family were still very close to her parents. The father who abused he as she was growing up was in their life. The father criticised the husband to this daughter. Clearly the sexual abuser does not stop degrading the victim. These experiences with my clients showed me very clearly that the sexual abuse is more about power than the sex. As a child you have no way of feeling safe when the person who is supposed to care and protects you is the one abusing you.

A man sexually abused by his mother for  two years. He remained in the family business to his thirties.

This is very common. Before we jump to conclusions about ourselves and others who are behaving badly or inappropriately, it's vital to consider the darkness that person is reliving every day and possibly every minute.

Families are complicated. It is within the family dynamics that we form our opinion of the world. We begin to see the world around us from the looking glass of people who raised us and the community that allowed it to happen.

There is a dark side to human beings that most of the world chooses to ignore. People don't want to be involved because they are overwhelmed themselves.

Most perpetrators function within these communities in full view. People around them can see and hear things but they choose to ignore them. This is because they do not know how to think for themselves. Developing Self-Awareness is best remedy for all neglect and abuse we allow to continue in full view. In my personal experience, my parents were physically abusive. Their friends in front of me suggested they should not beat their children. I overheard this conversation at the age of 10. Where I thought I was to get support from the community I got people continuing to pretend these abuses were not happening. My parents reply was; this is how we choose to treat our children and if you don't like it we will not be your friends. That was that. No one came to rescue me. I know how you feel. I sought put people who became my mentors of a great life. This was my healing. Very few people have the courage to stand up and take action against wrong doings. They are busy defending   their own territory. You can do the same. Lets begin to create the life you life rather than being  stuck in life you regret.

What we really need is a new way of living around people who are there for you no matter what.

It's less about what went wrong. It is mostly about 'how you can feel safe and nurtured in your life.' It's about engaging in activities and friendships that create a new way of living and relating.

Discovering connection to everyday living is the first step. Healing the disconnect. Being around people you can trusts to be free to have fun with. It is not only children that need to have fun like a child. It is about adults being free to have fun as a child would. You cannot bring back the childhood lost. But you can bring in the joy of a child in you to the adult you that you are now.

Taking you through the feeling and experience of exploring your life in the safety of supportive relationships begins in your first therapy session. It is not just a talking session. It is fully interactive experiential session. Discover that you are not alone even when you are physically alone. Connect to elements that are always there for you even when you feel that the humans are not there for you. At some level everyone is disconnected.

Learning about connection and experiencing connection is at the very core of successful therapy.