Sexual Abuse is common in my experience both in men and
It is more common than people realise. I have found that almost as many men and women have been affected. Some
sexual abuse victims excel in business as a way to avoid intimate relationships. On personal relationship level
they stress at the deepest level. Or they fall into relationships where they either become compliant or they hold
the lead completely. Personal relationships suffering is experienced in all victims. They have lost faith in human
nature yet need that interaction. This interaction gives them some meaning to life.
Human interaction is essential. The quality of human interaction is what
ultimately what nourishes us.
To be able to accept nurturing personal relationships; we
need to feel whole ourselves.
thoughts are energy. This sexual abuse energy continues to play in
the background til it connects with pulse of life.
Depression and exhaustion becomes daily experience. People end up seeking over
stimulation and most of all they just want a pill that stops the feelings of loneliness and separation. In your
sessions together we access your cellular imprint firmly embedded as result of your sexual abuse that continues to
run your life.
Sexual abuse creates distance in every other relationship. It attracts partners
who are distant and unavailable. This begins the cycle of trying again and again only to be left disappointed.
Other levels of abuse or neglect in formative years continue to run your life until you do powerful work on
Here we connect to your cell memory - not mental
These therapies that I do are aimed at bringing all of your energies
Sexual abuse memory
acts like a trojen virus that overtakes and manipulates your entire
This trojen needs to accessed in a very specific
way or it will manipulate your therapy.
Your healing works through connecting to different frequencies. These frequencies
change your reality.
This video from one of my clients on gentle letting go and
awakening of sleeping energy.
This cannot be replicated by people who are not able to connect on that
frequency. For this reason you don't see this as a solution in the mainstream.
You need to be absolutely complete within yourself to fully appreciate your life.
Most people continue to struggle in miserable relationships fighting for rights and needs within narrow
parameters. Life is bigger than your problems. But often we do not see or feel better options when we are
In sexual abuse therapy we help you get unstuck from that energy. When you feel
whole - your options become clearer. When sexual abuse dominates your life (in the background even though you
think you are not) you make decisions that continue to hurt. Lets get you together by introducing you
toknowing tantra 1 concepts.
Finding Care and Support.
Many adult survivors of childhood abuse find it difficult to get
support from their loved ones. People find it impossible to step into the abused persons shoes and truly feel what
they are feeling. In my experience, the family just want to get them to move on. This further isolates the persona
who is trapped in the sexual abuse story. The sexual abuse in itself is more about power over the child. Sexual
abuse is a one way street. It often involves someone in authority. The sexual abuse is often by a parent, a close
relative, a babysitter, a school teacher or even a spiritual teacher.
My personal experience in my relationship with a man who was
sexually abused by a police man at 12 years of age.
Neither of us knew this at the time. He buried the event so deep that
it was not in his conscious mind. At times he would turnto alcohol when we had
issues in our relationship. Only when he sought therapy did he discover his deeply buried trauma that was playing
out in his adult life. We did not last. It is a shame, he was a caring giving man. But the trauma often turned him
into escapist. This affected every aspect of our relatioship. All couples have issues that come up from time to
In a healthy relationship, these are dealt with. Solutions are found
and the couple moves on. In a relationship that is not growing there could be something sinister in the
His trust was violated.
Our relationship did not last. Whenever we needed to talk, he would
regress. He would try to deal with it on his own. Because this is what he did as a child. Still not knowing that he
had buried the sexual abuses so deep that he did not have to go back there. This is what he did with any issue.
Many years later after we separated, he sought me out and shared with me that finally he found out why we did not
work out. He said 'while you were trying to build our relationship, I was breaking it.' then he went on to tell me
'I was sexually abused at 12 years of age, I buried it so deep that even I could not remember it. All I knew is
that the world in not a safe place'.
The point of this story is that if you cannot deal with what seems a simple issue, there is
probably a very good reason for that.
That reason is buried in your subconscious.
The thing is you do not need to relive the trauma. Often victims do
not seek support is because they do not want to relive the trauma.
As a sexual abuse victim what you really need is a way of living that
is safe and nurturing. With people around you that you can trust to be there for you whenever you have something
important to do or to share. Bring trust and life into sharing a life you deserve. Not just continue as a
These are people in power. People that a child relies upon for their
Therefore is not just about the sexual act itself, it is about
survival. Sexual abuse is about trust abuse. The abuser ensures the victim feels guilty and responsible for the act
itself. Confusion about what happened and how this permitted to happen when people and god are supposed to take
care of you. Shame and disbelief that the world can allow that to happen.
Working with sexual abuse victims.
In working with sexual abuse victims, I found they often just hover
around their loved ones. They act as if they are in the room, but in actual fact they are not even present in
their own body. Many end up in the tantric sex industry, or in any other industry that exploits sex. Others become
great artists, perfumers. These profession create a buffer between themselves and the people around them. Some
become powerful business people. It is the intimate and personal relationships that remain distant. One woman I
worked with who was sexually abused by her many uncles live her entire life hating food. She did not enjoy it at
all. The disconnect was so great. She recalls at age 10 telling her mother. Her mother made her promise she
would not tell anyone because that would bring shame on the family. From that time on it was never talked about
again. At it turns out, her mother was also sexually abused. She dealt with her daughter's sexual abuse situation like
she dealt with her own. The only way for her mother to deal with it is to live pretending it did not happen. Now
the entire life is lived as a lie.
Another client came to me who's wife was sexually abused by her
father. They only had sex once in 20 years. He was seeking solutions to their intimate relationship issue. As it
turns out, they as a family were still very close to her parents. The father who abused he as she was growing up
was in their life. The father criticised the husband to this daughter. Clearly the sexual abuser does not stop
degrading the victim. These experiences with my clients showed me very clearly that the sexual abuse is more about
power than the sex. As a child you have no way of feeling safe when the person who is supposed to care and protects
you is the one abusing you.
A man sexually abused by his mother for two years. He remained
in the family business to his thirties.
This is very common. Before we jump to conclusions about ourselves
and others who are behaving badly or inappropriately, it's vital to consider the darkness that person is reliving
every day and possibly every minute.
Families are complicated. It is within the family dynamics that we
form our opinion of the world. We begin to see the world around us from the looking glass of people who raised us
and the community that allowed it to happen.
There is a dark side to human beings that most of the world
chooses to ignore. People don't want to be involved because they are overwhelmed
Most perpetrators function within these communities in
full view. People around them can see and hear things but they choose to ignore them. This is because they
do not know how to think for themselves. Developing Self-Awareness is best remedy for all neglect and abuse we
allow to continue in full view. In my personal experience, my parents were physically abusive. Their friends in
front of me suggested they should not beat their children. I overheard this conversation at the age of 10. Where I
thought I was to get support from the community I got people continuing to pretend these abuses were not happening.
My parents reply was; this is how we choose to treat our children and if you don't like it we will not be your
friends. That was that. No one came to rescue me. I know how you feel. I sought put people who became my mentors of
a great life. This was my healing. Very few people have the courage to stand up and take action against wrong
doings. They are busy defending their own territory. You can do the same. Lets begin to create the life
you life rather than being stuck in life you regret.
What we really need is a new way of living around
people who are there for you no matter what.
It's less about what went wrong. It is mostly about 'how you can feel
safe and nurtured in your life.' It's about engaging in activities and friendships that create a new way of living
Discovering connection to everyday living is the first step.
Healing the disconnect. Being around people you can trusts to be free to have fun with. It is not only
children that need to have fun like a child. It is about adults being free to have fun as a child would. You
cannot bring back the childhood lost. But you can bring in the joy of a child in you to the adult you
that you are now.
Taking you through the feeling and experience of exploring your life
in the safety of supportive relationships begins in your first therapy session. It is not just a talking session.
It is fully interactive experiential session. Discover that you are not alone even when you are physically alone.
Connect to elements that are always there for you even when you feel that the humans are not there for you. At some
level everyone is disconnected.
Learning about connection and experiencing connection is at
the very core of successful therapy.